Children and Marriage
The way to give the best start in life to our children is to have marriage and children front and center to how society is organised. The question of recent days is how should marriage look from now on wards. The problems within adult relationships will always impact on any children within that relationship and it is true that marriages, as they currently are, have many issues and that they need strong support to become more respectful for all persons within the family unit. For many years the overwhelming studies demonstrate that children do a lot better in a family where the adults, in that relationship, are a man and a woman married to each other. The question is what should we do with marriage now there is a debate on a change proposal out there?
- Continue as it is without and changes at all.
- Expand the meaning marriage to include same sex couples or even transsexuals.
- Put in place programs to strengthen marriage so that divorce will become less common.
To continue family relationships and marriage as is without any changes is unwise, as we have many issues that need to be addressed as we see evidence of domestic violence that appears to be on the rise. The issues here stem from the respect we have for each other and that seems to have taken a huge dive in recent years. We do know that dysfunctional families will tend to produce dysfunctional families, so we need to place a redirection in place so that families are not reproducing problems for future generations. So changes must be made for the better for the sake of our children.
Some would suggest the way forward as being to widen the meaning of marriage to include same sex couples and yet it is clear that children do have a central question to their identity of who they are that is wholly connected to who their mum and dad is? Any family that has barrier in this area is potentially producing an environment where children will suffer emotional issues around their identity. This lady does explain her problems in having 2 female “parents” in her home and her need to know who her father was/is.
Marriage commitments have had some rocky roads due to the more selfish nature of our society and the complete lack of selfless commitment to another person that the best of marriage requires. All relationships need work on them and marriage is not alone as a relationship that needs work on it. The thing is that often when many enter marriage the glitter, the piazza and the hype often remove the serious side of marriage which is a life long commitment of one man and one woman in the presence of witnesses before God. Some of the pre-marriage counseling that happens today are unable to correct the dysfunctional hidden characteristics that are lurking under the surface to rise up and attack the new relationship that is developing. We need to develop strategies to enhance marriage and not to effectively gut and destroy it. There are other relationships that are important in so many ways and yet marriage is unique when it is between one man and one woman and from this union for life the children of this relationship have a certainty of a balance in their formative years and this is important for their development into well adjusted adults
A link that is important for us to spend time to listen to as we examine the whole issue.
Children are needing the protection of both their mum and their dad as they grow up into adults and there is so much evidence that demonstrates that defacto relationships are not totally ideal though some very stable defacto relationships have very good outcomes for their children of that relationship and that must be applauded. As to same sex couples who have children within that relationship – the children are either biological to one person only or to neither person; some are from failed relationships, some are from artificial means while others maybe a product of both adults in the relationship if a “sex change has occurred” with one of the parents – the family dynamics are not natural and this can have negative impacts on a child growing up. It is for this reason the Safe Schools Program and the Respectful Relationship Programs are their to indoctrinate the children’s school experience into a highly sexual and provocative time at a time when a child is asking the questions as to where and how they fit into the world. This sexual and confusing information is both unwise an most inappropriate for young people. Strictly speaking this is essentially grooming a person for sexual advantage and to breakdown any modesty that a person will have.
In the whole debate ( it is hardly a debate but rather the shouting of abuse to the opponents) the impact on the future generation is not considered.
We have issues in domestic violence in all relationships and this move will not do anything to deliver safer domestic situations nor will more stable families for the young people to grow up in and so it seems that time and effort should go into fixing the issues in the marriage relationships we have today to create a safer and more stable relationship for the sake of our children. If other people want to have different relationships so be it but please do not call them marriage.
A closing note: a relationship that has many of the hallmarks of marriage is distinguished by the name defacto-relationship or defacto-marriage in a clear statement that it is different to marriage and so should other relationships that are different be called by a different name!
For the sake of our children we need to protect marriage and to protect it we must!